Tokyo hotel's rules and
regulations:
Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviours in bed.
Hotel notice, Tokyo:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing
is please not to read notis[sic].
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand:
Please do not bring solicitors into your room.
Hotel brochure, Italy:
This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude.
In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude.
Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be
unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
Hotel elevator, Belgrade:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor.
If the cabin should enter more persons, each one
should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then
going alphabetically by national order.
Hotel elevator, Paris:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
Hotel, Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office
between the hours of 9 and 11 AM daily.
Hotel, Yugoslavia:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
Hotel, Japan:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
Sign in Japanese public bath:
Foreign guests are requested not to pull cock in tub.
Sign in men's rest room in Japan:
To stop leak turn cock to the right.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers,
artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
Taken from a menu, Poland:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a
finger;
Roasted duck let loose;
Beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
Supermarket, Hong Kong:
For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
Dry cleaner's, Bangkok:
Drop your trousers here for the best results.