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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings - they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

A person who smiles in the face of adversity ... probably has a scapegoat.

If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos ... then you probably haven't completely grasped the seriousness of the situation.

Plagiarism saves time.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

TEAMWORK ... means never having to take all the blame yourself.

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

We waste time, so you don't have to.

Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!

A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.

When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.

Succeed in spite of management.

Aim low, reach your goals, avoid disappointment.

You pretend to work, and we'll pretend to pay you.