Getting old?

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1979: Long hair
2004: Longing for hair

1979: The perfect high
2004: The perfect high yield mutual fund

1979: KEG
2004: EKG

1979: Acid rock
2004: Acid reflux

1979: Moving to California because it's cool
2004: Moving to California because it's warm

1979: Growing pot
2004: Growing pot belly

1979: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2004: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1979: Seeds and stems
2004: Roughage

1979: Killer weed
2004: Weed killer

1979: Hoping for a BMW
2004: Hoping for a BM

1979: The Grateful Dead
2004: Dr. Kevorkian

1979: Going to a new, hip joint
2004: Receiving a new hip joint

1979: Rolling Stones
2004: Kidney Stones

1979: Being called into the principal's office
2004: Calling the principal's office

1979: Screw the system
2004: Upgrade the system

1979: Disco
2004: Costco

1979: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2004: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1979: Passing the drivers' test
2004: Passing the vision test

1979: Whatever
2004: Depends

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly
change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together
a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's
incoming freshmen. Here's this year's list:

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1985. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.
The CD was introduced the year they were born.
They have always had an answering machine.
They have always had cable.
They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
They can't imagine what hard contact lenses! are.
They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane Boss, de plane".
They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.
McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Do you feel old yet? Pass this on to the other old fogies in your life.